Apps and Activities for Emotional Intelligence

In a recent post, I discussed how proud I was that my son comforted another child in gym class. Here are a few apps and activities that we used to develop his ability to do this.



Touch and Say
A game for kids with autism which teaches daily routines and social skills through play and practice. Example: Feel (A Happy Face, A Sad Face, etc.), Sing (songs like 'If You're Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands), Talk, Colour, Silly, Look, Letters, Numbers



Emotions, Feelings and Colors! Arts and Social development
From Tribal Nova i Learn With. They have a character called Poko who helps the children identify feelings.



ABA Flash Cards Emotions
Shows pictures of babies, children and adults with the following emotions: Scared, Sad, Bored, Happy, Worried, Sleepy, Thoughtful, Focused, Upset, Afraid, Proud, Frustrated, Surprised, Curious, Mad, Tired, Excited, Unhappy, Hungry, Disgusted.

Acting out a story and identifying an emotion
I wrote a bunch of different emotions on flash cards. Then I acted out a story and paused at different points. I had my son choose the emotion that matched. I chose a story that was motivating to him. It was about buying ice cream, and it falling on the floor. I had him identify about 5 different emotions. He had no difficulty with this activity what so ever.

Tying Shoelaces

Admittedly, teaching my son to tie his shoelaces hasn't really made it on my to-do list. He is six years old and its probably about that time (maybe a bit past), but he has never shown any interest in it yet. However, I saw this youtube video on the news and thought I would post it for any one that is ready to tackle this goal. It is supposed to be an easy way to tie your shoes.

Shoelace video

This is a great book that my kids enjoy. It may help to generate interest in shoelaces or at least get them putting a shoelace through the holes.

Should you disclose your child's autism diagnosis to their classmates

In a previous blog post, I discuss how we will often disclose our son's autism diagnosis to others. In a classroom setting, an ASD child will be with the same classmates for the full year. We felt it was important to disclose the diagnosis to the other children for many reasons. We choose to do this in the form of a class presentation.

1) To foster understanding and acceptance
We them to understand that children with ASD may talk or behave differently from others. We want them to understand why. It's because they have autism. We want them to understand what autism is. We want to encourage the other children to approach and interact with the child with ASD. We don't want them to be scare off by any behaviours that might result from sensory or other challenges.
2) To understand why there may be accommodations
Many children with autism with require some form of accommodation in the classroom. This is often to help them overcome any sensory challenges, to manage behaviours, or to modify the workload to their level. They other kids might perceive this as special treatment if they are unaware of the diagnosis

3) To provide suggestions for interacting with an ASD child
We also want the other children to be aware of some things they can do to help the child with ASD. Also, what they can do to increase the success of the interaction.

So, should you give a presentation to you child's classroom?

It is an individual decision that each parent must make. Here are some things to consider:

1) Does your child know they have autism?
2) What is your child's severity level?
3) How old is your child? What grade are they in?
4) How will give the presentation? The parent?, the teacher?, the child?
5) Is the school and teacher on board?
6) Do you want your child to be present during the presentation?


More on what to include in the presentation next week.

Parenting Tip: Teach problem solving

Sometimes I forget that when a child encounters the simplest problem, they have to learn the solution. You think (in your head of course) how is it possible that you don't know what to do. So often we tell them what to do. But, it is important to let them figure it out. They need to practice so they can have the skills to figure out big problems. My son has a very difficult time finding his lost personal belongings. He will drop them where ever, and then has difficulty finding them even when they are right in front of him. It's easy to just tell him where it is. However he doesn't learn the problem solving skills to find it and to put in the same spot in the first place.

So what can we do as parents. Parenting expert Barbara Coloroso recommends using a statement such as "you have a problem and I know you can handle it". That may be too little help for a child with Autism. They might get frustrated at a too difficult task and have an outburst. However, you can ask leading questions without giving away the answer. For example, "we looked on the floor of the living room, where else can we look". Or if they need further direction you can ask "maybe we can look under something". Then you can try to help them come up with a solution to not loose things. You can apply this to all sorts of problems. Even during play when they are trying to figure out how to put something together.

The key is to ask questions instead of giving answers.

Teach your kids to comfort others

Today was a proud moment. My son’s teacher told us that he asked another boy “Are you ok”. The boy was hurt during gym class. My son (on the spectrum), was the only child in the class to go over to the other child.

This moment was not without hard work. Previously, my son would laugh if someone was hurt, or ignore them all together. We taught him to go up to people if they were upset and ask “Are you ok”. We had plenty of opportunities to practice. My son doesn’t have the greatest spatial awareness. He’ll often stomp on your foot (accidentally) and continue on without showing the slightest awareness. When this happened, we would tell him that he hurt someone and prompt him to say “Are you ok”. Gradually, we started saying things such as “your brother looks sad” and he would go over and ask.

Today, we can rejoice that our efforts have paid off.

Things we love: Going to the park

We find taking our kids to the park to be a very valuable experience. It gives my ASD son (and his brother) a chance to practice his social skills with the other kids in a fairly relaxed environment.

There were a few sensory issues to overcome first. My son doesn’t like long grass on his legs, he doesn’t like the feeling of sand or dirt on his feet. First, we had to get him comfortable going to the park. We did this by bringing a folding chair, so he didn’t have to sit on the ground. We brought lots of snacks so he would have something to keep him occupied. We let him wear his socks in the sandbox and splash pad, so he didn’t have to worry about his feet. He also prefers to wear long sleeves and pants even on the hottest day. We had him wear a sun shirt so he looked less out of place.

Next, we needed things to attract the other kids to come and play. We brought a lot of sand toys and the largest bubbles we could find. Some other great ideas for toys include large colourful balls and a baseball bat. This one kid had a toy where you jump on an air bladder and it sends a rocket in the air. That is a sure way to attract other kids. In the splash pad, we brought balls and toy figures and would put them in the water jets. This would shoot the toys up in the air which attracted some attention.

Gradually, my son became less concerned about the sensory issues and he began playing with other kids. He started having some conversations with them in the sandbox. I facilitated a game of baseball (really just taking turns trying to hit a large beach ball) which was a big hit. The day another child brought an air rocket toys was also a big success.

Parks can also lead to new experiences such as going for a walk through the forest. Again, my son was against doing this at first as it was overwhelming from a sensory perspective, but now he quite enjoys it. Overall, we have had some great experiences going to parks this summer. With fall coming the weather will be cooler, and there will be less bus. It’s a great time.

Managing at school: Getting your child to remember their backpack

Last year, my son needed constant reminders to bring his backpack with him. One day, I forgot to remind him, and we went to school without a backpack. Snacks were provided at that school, so the consequence of no back pack wasn’t to great. Daily reminders are usually not going to do the trick. One thing you can do is start to fade your reminders. You can start by asking “Do you have everything”. This is still a pretty direct cue. Next you can say something a little more indirect such as “Hmm, I think something is wrong”, and try to let them figure it out. Next you can try just blocking your child’s pathway to leave the house. Then you can let them figure out why you are blocking their pathway.

Another thing you can try is a checklist of items at the door to leave the house. You can use a dry erase board to check off each item on the list that they need to bring. Getting them to actually check items rather than just look at the list is usually more effective. Of course, they may need reminders to look at the list. You can expect this will still take a while for child to be fully independent, but it is worth a try.

Things we love: Mini putt

We love mini putt for many reasons. There are so many skills that your child can practice during this game. This includes gross motor, cheering for others, waiting your turn, counting strokes and keeping score. It is also a fairly quiet activity so there are not too many sensory challenges that you have to worry about. However, make sure you pick a mini golf course that is not in a touristy area. They can be crowded and sometimes have large statues that can be overwhelming. Our three year old son was fearful of the large dinosaurs in Niagara Falls. Mini golf courses attached to golf courses are a better option. The children have a great time hitting the ball with the club (or just dropping the ball in hole) and they don’t even realize that they are practice some of the other skills. For now, we are not bothering with keeping score. The focus is still on waiting your turn, holding the club properly and cheering for others. We’ve been four or five times now and each time less cuing is required.

A new direction for a blog

Much of our blog has focused on describing activities you can do with your kids. However, with school starting up, the kids will be doing most of their activities at school. As such, you’ll notice our blog posts will shift to be more about helping your child manage at school, at home and hopefully ideas for some successful playdates. This also means that we will be posting a little less often. You can expect posts two or three times a week. We will post consistently on Mondays and Wednesdays with the occasional post of Fridays.